If
by Simiel
Summary: This is if Jamie hadn't died... they have overcome lots of hurdles with more to come. Read on! I know that stank.. but please read it anyways
1. Chapter One

Chapter One:  
  
Landon had been sitting at Jamie's bedside for what seemed an eternity. He had gripped her hand tight not daring to let go, afraid that if he did he would loose her forever. He was tired, but the thought that Jamie might not be with him another day kept him awake. The night before was when it started....  
  
*Flashback*  
  
They were at his Mom's house having dinner, both Jamie's and his family. He remembered that before they had left Jamie hadn't felt good, but it seemed to both of them nothing serious. She had had many other type things happen to her since her leukemia had begun to get steadily worse, and they had been a lot worse.  
  
When they got there she had felt better, but was still on the sick side. Everything seemed to be going great. The food that his mom had prepared was great, like usual. His dad was even there, which brought a smile to Jamie's face. In the middle of the meal, she excused herself to go to the bathroom. After awhile, she still hadn't come back. Landon was at that point getting worried,so he left to check on her.  
  
When he came to the door, he heard no one moving or anything inside. He tried to turn the handle, but it was locked. He knocked on the door, but nothing happened.  
  
He remembered that he had rushed back to the table, his face white, making everyone worried. He told them what had or hadn't happened. In that instant Jamie's father, Reverend Sullivan rushed to the bathroom, calling out Jamie's name, panic straining his voice. When he wasn't answered, he looked up at them with desperate eyes."Call the ambulance.." Landon's mother had rushed to the phone, hurriedly making the call.  
  
When the medics arrived, they finally got the door open, showing Jamie crumpled on the floor, unconsious. They rushed her out of the house, and into the ambulance. Not wanting to leave Jamie, Landon demanded to stay with her, and seeing the pain in his eyes as he looked upon his wife, they let him in as well.  
  
*End of Flashback*  
  
That was how they had gotten here. She had been unconsious since then, but wasn't in any real critical stituations... yet. Landon squeezed her lifeless, cold hand harder. He needed her to come back. She was the reason he was who he was. It was because of her that his life had been changed for the better.  
  
He looked down at her, and saw her eyelids flutter juat a little. His eyes shown that at that moment with hope, hope that she would wake. He began to whisper to her, making her eyelids flutter all the more. Slowly, and somewhat painfully it seemed, Jamie opened her eyes. Her smile was large as she looked up at her husband. He smiled at her thanking God for his kindness to him. Then he bent down, and kissed his wife tenderly and carefully on the lips.  
  
"How are you feeling, baby?" he asked her stroking her cheeck with his thumb.  
  
"Good as I can be," she answered, smiling back lovingly at him, but then a darkness covered her face. "How did I get here? What happened?"  
  
He took a deep breath. "Well, you, um.. collasped in my Mom's bathroom. But you're okay now," he reassured her.  
  
Tears began to form in her eyes. "No, Landon, I'm not okay. Something has to be wrong. It has to be getting worse. This hasn't happend to me in a long time!"  
  
He hugged her, but inside he felt helpless. He knew that something must have been wrong, but he didn't want to admit it. "It's gunna be okay, Jamie. I promise you. I won't let anything happen to you." He held her tighter in his arms,as she cried on his shoulder.  
  
A few minutes later, the doctor entered the room. He saw the two together, and stood in silence for a few minutes, watching Landon comforting his wife. "Mr. Carter... may I have a word with you?" he asked. "And as for you, Jamie, I'll see you in a minute."  
  
Landon got up from the bed, but something held him back. It was Jamie. She had his hand in a deathgrip, her eyes pleading with him not to leave her. "I'll be back, I promise. Okay, Mrs. Carter?" he asked, a slight smile curving his lips, as he kissed his wife. Finally, she let go, and Landon left with the doctor, a grim expression setting on his face as he closed the door.  
  
"Well, Mr. Carter," the doctor said. "Seeing the results of her tests, the leukemia seems to be getting stronger. It seems that her body is loosing the will to fight." He looked up at Landon, who himself was on the brink of tears, with sympathetic eyes. "She looks like she doesn't have much longer, unless God himself gives her an exstention. I'm very sorry."  
  
He couldn't even think about loosing her. It just couldn't happen! There had to be away that the both of them could fight this. "Isn't there anything you can do?" he asked desperately.  
  
"She could go under treatments, but she hasn't been responding to them. And in doing that might cause more grief to her than not having them done. But, Mr. Carter, here is my suggestion to you. Do all that you can do with the time that you have now together with each other." Then to close the conversation, the doctor with Landon behind him went back inside Jamie's room.  
  
Landon rushed to her side. He looked at her. She looked so beautiful to him. Even in her worst states, to him she was eternalily beautiful. He sat beside her, and gently rubbed her arm, making her smile and close her eyes.  
  
"So Mrs. Carter, what do we have here?" the doctor asked, flipping through her file. "It seems that you had another leukemia induced incident. Do you remember anything from that time?" he asked her, this time awaiting her answer.  
  
She was silent a few moments trying to remember anything, but nothing came to her. She shook her head answering, "No, I don't remember anything."  
  
"Not what I was hoping. While you were asleep, we ran some tests..." he paused, "Your cancerous cells are becoming more numerous and powerful. There is nothing that we can really do, except pray, and which I will most definately do. Now, though, I recommend that you just rest, and be with the ones you love. I'm sorry that this has to happen this way, but we will try to help you as much as we can, if you need anything ring the bell." And with that he left.  
  
"Landon," Jamie whispered. That was all she had to say before Landon was there for her, as she cried yet again. "I'm scared..."  
  
"I am too, baby. I am too, but you kow what?" he asked pulling away so he could see her face.  
  
"Hmm?" she asked, sniffing.  
  
"We're going to get through this," he answered as he brushed the tears off of her face, kissing her. 


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two:  
  
Time had gone by and now a cold winter had fallen on North Carolina. It had rained a cold chilly rain that was slushy from the unexpected cold. Jamie had a face that all too well read her expression, she was anxious and scared at the same time, full of hope, but also full of dread. They were going to the doctors for another check-up. She had been going about every two to three weeks since they had found that her cancer had grown stronger.  
  
Landon looked over at her with concern, but quickly had to avert his gaze from her. Since it had rained the roads were slick, so all drivers had to be much more careful. His hand moved over towards her's, and squeezed her's tightly. They were at a stop light, and in those few minutes he had turned to look back at her and consule her. "Jamie, no matter what happens... I'll be there with you. I promise you. And I know one thing for sure," he smirked here, "you are the preacher's daughter, so God is definately watching over you."  
  
Jamie smiled, relaxing a little. That was why she loved him so much. He had always been there for her no matter what, well maybe not when they were in school, but ever since the play he had been there. He was always there to talk, and listen. Plus he had, or so she thought, helped her fight her cancer longer than she had ever thought possible. "I know, but it never seems to end. And sometimes I just want it to end, by any means."  
  
"I know... but you have to keep fighting for me. If I didn't have you I don't know what I would do." He paused. "So stay here for me." Then she nodded her head. The rest of the drive to the hospital was silent.  
  
The Carters were now in the room waiting for the doctor to arrive. Jamie looked pretty comfortable, but Landon who looked cool on the outside, was freaking out. Jamie knew this and laughed at him. "Are you okay there, Carter?" She asked him smirking.  
  
He smiled. "Oh yeah, just fine."  
  
Suddenly in came the doctor. Usually his face was grim, but today there was a lighter edge. He still had a seriousness to his face, but his eyes twinkled. "Hello there Mr. and Mrs. Carter!" He smiled a slight smile at them. "Oh, I just can't keep it in," the old doctor said. He turned his gaze towards Jamie. "You, Jamie, have overcome the odds again. From your last two visits, the last one had a significant less amount of cancerous cells. It seems that you have yet again begun the fight." But then his happiness was suppresed by the chance that it might not work out. "That does not mean, though, that you have overcome it. We are going to run another test to see if it is still going down. If you have below 350 than you are coming back and fighting it. So come, let us begin."  
  
Landon and Jamie sat, awed by the situation. Jamie was crying with a happiness that Landon had not seen from her in a long time. She seemed so unburdened by knowing that the grip of her cancer was lessening on her. The doctor led them down a long hallway, a hall that they had been down many times before.  
  
After about an hour the tests were finished. They were being led again to the long hallway. The doctor spoke to them. "You will know the results in two days time. Until then we will see what happens. Well, I best be going, you two have a good day." And he was off.  
  
They were done. She could be fighting it again. Landon took her into his arms at the thought just like he used to, which took Jamie off gaurd, but she laughed. He set her down gently. He stroked her cheek. "I love you... thanks for fighting."  
  
"I love you too, forever and always. And just to let you know, you are what kept me going." Then she took his hand as they walked back to the desk to pay for the wonderful visit.  
  
That night the two were curled together under a blanket, by a blazing fire. They were looking out a large window watching the stars. On better nights, they would go out on to the porch, and using the telescope that Landon had built for Jamie, they would examine the stars and planets. Jamie had her head on Landon's shoulder, his arm wrapped around her slender waist.  
  
There are really no words to describe how the two felt that night, just staring at the stars in each others company. Both Jamie and he knew that they would do this forever together. They both felt so content and comfortable that if anyone else was around they would feel it too, and it would spread to them as well. Jamie snuggled closer to his warmth. He smiled. He loved her so much. Everything about her. Her eyes, her hair, her body, her pleasant but sometimes stinging remarks, her sudden moods swings. Everything. And that to him was everything that he could ever want. That he had found the girl of his dreams. And now that her cancer might be weakening that made it even more perfect.  
  
They had sat there for awhile not saying a word, just enjoying the stars, and the other's company, but Jamie broke the silence. "Landon, what would we do if I really do get over it?" She asked, her voice only but a whisper.  
  
"Whatever we want. Whatever you want. I am yours to do anything with." He chuckled. "But no seriously, I don't really care. Just so long as I'm there with you. That is all I want, to be with you." He kissed her on the head. "What would you want to do?"  
  
She sat silently, really thinking about it. She hadn't really spent that much time thinking about anything, but getting over it. Just trying to live her life now. She had thought that she wouldn't have the time to do so many things, so had never really ever thought that far into the future. But now that she might have the chance she knew one thing for certain. "Well, I want to travel, anywhere, I really don't care where. But most of all I want a family of our own. I have always wanted one. Being a parent to me, would be a great goal that most don't see as much, for it is an everyday thing, but to me it is the most that anyone can ever ask for. Don't you think?"  
  
He smiled warmly. "Yes, I think the same. Having kids someday would be fun, but I like the traveling idea too. You, my dear, are full of very good thoughts and ideas, you know."  
  
"Oh, stop, you're maiking me blush." She chuckled.  
  
"Well, that what I'm here for aren't I?" he asked her, as he held her tight.  
  
"Mhhm," she answered. Her eyes were growing heavy. She had been tired a lot lately, and now they knew the cause. Her fight. She usually was out by nine thirty, ten at her latest. It was taking a lot out of her. And now the sleep was hitting her more than ever. She tried to fight it, but she didn't last for long. Before she knew it, she had fallen asleep in Landon's arms. And that was how they stayed the rest of the night.  
  
The sun had just risen. The air was cool, but had no promises that it would be stormy. There was hardly a cloud in the sky. The couple was still asleep in each other's arms. A ray of sun slanted through the window, on to Jamie's face. Her eyes slowly opened, taking in the light, but then squinted quickly. She felt the rise and fall of Landon's chest underneath her. She rose her head up, and moved away from him, so that she could see his face.  
  
He looked so peaceful asleep. His arm fell from the position that it had been in all night cradling Jamie. Only after a few minutes that it fell, he woke. He opened his eyes, and there she was. He smiled at her dashingly. "Slept good, I hope?" he asked her.  
  
She nodded her head in response. "One of the best, I should say."  
  
"Good," he answered smiling. He stood up, stretching his arms. "What would you like for breakfast, princess?"  
  
She blushed, as she looked at him. "Um... how bout some pancakes? Yeah, pancakes sound good."  
  
"As you wish," he answered with a bow, as he left the room for the kitchen.  
  
Jamie began the trudge up the stairs. She yawned. She thought about the night before, what they had talked about. She felt warm all over. The time she had infront of her now was her's not the cancer's. That made her feel strong, as if nothing could frighten her. She had just had one of the greastest battles ever, the battle of her survival, and she had won, or so it seemed. She had finally reached their room. There she walked over to the closet to pick out the outfit for the day.  
  
The griddle made a music that can only be made at breakfast time. He flipped another pancake. That was his favorite part of the whole thing, the flipping. But naturally, he wasn't very good at it, but he made due. He was flipping the last batch. The others were on a plate beside where Landon stood. He smiled as he flipped a pancake on to the plate.  
  
Suddenly he felt arms wrap around him from behind. He smiled. He felt Jamie lay her head on his back. "Landon, I think you have found a passion. You seemed to be enjoying it. That's what you should do when we graduate in three days."  
  
"I just might. What do you want to do?" he asked her as he flipped the last of the pancakes on to the plate.  
  
"I'm going to be a teacher... I think," she answered.  
  
"You would be perfect at it. All the kids would love you. And now I must walk to the table." With that said Jamie unwraped her arms, and picked up her head. "Thak you very much, Jamie."  
  
She went over to the cabinet that was full of plates, and grabbed two. She walked back over to the table and placed them by the plate of steaming pancakes. "They look very good."  
  
"Why thank you," he answered, grabbing a plate and setting a few of them on his plate.  
  
They ate silently, not needng to talk, but just look into each other's eyes every few minutes. It had been a good breakfast, and it was almost finished when the phone rang. They didn't get up. They never answred the phone while they were eating, but both of their ears were eager to hear who could be calling. After a few minutes the voice of a doctor was heard. Jamie jumed out of her seat, and rushed to the phone. "Hello?" she asked.  
  
Mrs. Carter, just who I wanted to speak to." There was a pause. Jamie's heart was beating so loud that everything else was muted out. Then he said it. "You are free." Jamie began to cry with happiness. Landon who thought that she was crying from bad news rushed to her. She whispered, "I'm free Landon..."  
  
The doctor's voice was heard again. "To help you keep it down and weak, we will get a prescription made for you. You will have to take it at every meal and if you need it you can take one before bed. And don't worry, it'll say it on the bottle too."  
  
"When will it be ready?" she asked.  
  
"Tonight. You can pick it up at the hospital if you wish after 6 o clock."  
  
"Thank you very much," she answered her voice full of happiness.  
  
"You are very welcome, Jamie. Have a good day. Good bye."  
  
"Bye." And with that she hung up the phone. She jumped into Landon's arms. Landon held her tight just as happy as she was. She would be able to live now. She could have a future. She pulled away, brushing tears away. "Landon, I love you."  
  
He smiled. "I love you too."  
  
"You better go get ready for church, mister. We'll be late if we don't hurry, and we can't miss it today. Today we have to go for other reasons." She smiled again, so happy about the turn of events. 


End file.
